Estuaries of the Seven Kingdoms, Part 2: Ashara Dayne in the Books

 

[From a 1950 photo of Elizabeth Taylor, a woman with violet eyes.  

Attribution:  MGM. Photographer not credited (according to page 97), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons]

Read Part 1 first

Now I have shown you the background of my theory:  that place matters deeply.  Another character from one estuary region is likely to have traveled through another:  Ashara of House Dayne.  It's in paying attention to the geography of estuaries that we can stitch together what exactly happened to her.

But first, let's review the evidence we have from all the books published so far.  Most of it comes from people who think he to be Jon's mother, or Ned Stark's love, with one exception.  We also have some other stories of unnamed women with Ned that are relevant that I'll review here.

Ashara Dayne in the ASOIAF Books

A Game of Thrones

In AGOT, in Catelyn's first chapter, we read how she believed that Ashara had been Jon Snow's mother, and the consequences of asking Ned about it early in their marriage:

Ned would not speak of the mother, not so much as a word, but a castle has no secrets, and Catelyn heard her maids repeating tales they heard from the lips of her husband's soldiers.  They whispered of Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning, deadliest of the seven knights of Aerys's Kingsguard, and of how their young lord had slain him in single combat.  And they told how afterward Ned had carried Ser Arthur's sword back to the beautiful young sister who awaited him in a castle called Starfall on the shores of the Summer Sea.  The Lady Ashara Dayne, tall and fair, with haunting violet eyes.  It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face.

That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her.  "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice.  "He is my blood, and that is all you need to know.  And now I will learn where you heard that  name, my lady."  She had pledged to obey, she told him, and from that day on, the whispering had stopped, and Ashara Dayne's name was never heard in Winterfell again.

When Ned invites Cersei to the Godswood in King's Landing to confront her with his discovery of her children's true parentage, she accuses him of hypocrisy (AGOT, Eddard),

"You've a bastard of your own, I've seen him.  Who was the mother, I wonder?  Some Dornish peasant you raped while her holdfast burned?  A whore?  Or was the the grieving sister, the Lady Ashara?  She threw herself into the sea, I'm told.  Why was that?  For the brother you slew, or the child you stole?"

A Clash of Kings

While discussing how Stannis plans to employ Edric Storm in his campaign to prove that Joffrey is not Robert's heir, Catelyn Stark's thoughts turn to how her children appear:  mostly like a Tully, but for Arya, who shows much of Ned in her features...

And Jon Snow, but he was never mine.  She found herself thinking of Jon's mother, that shadowy secret love her husband would never speak of.  Does she grieve for Ned as I do?  Or did she hate him for leaving her bed for mine?  Does she pray for her son as I have prayed for mine?

They were uncomfortable thoughts, and futile.  If Jon had been born of Ashara Dayne of Starfall, as some whispered, the lady was long dead; if not, Catelyn had no clue who or where his mother might be.  And it made no matter.  Ned was gone now, and his loves and secrets had all died with him.

A Storm of Swords

While we can't be sure it refers to Ashara Dayne, on their flight north from Winterfell, Meera Reed tells Bran what seems to be the story of the Tourney at Harrenhal, in which she describes a crannogman's experience (A Storm of Swords, Bran).

"The crannogman saw a maid with laughing purple eyes dance with a white sword, a red snake, and the lord of griffins, and lastly with the quiet wolf, but only after the wild wolf spoke to her on behalf of a brother too shy to leave his bench."

Later in ASOS, Arya meets Lord Edric Dayne, squire to Lord Beric Dondarrion in the Brotherhood without Banners who is "promised" to his aunt.  They have a conversation about Arya's father's visit to Starfall near the end of Robert's Rebellion.  Following Ned Dayne's recollection of his being "milk brothers" with Jon Snow, having had Jon's (supposed) mother Wylla as a wet nurse, he announces his identity to Arya, expecting her to recognize the name...

"There was an Arthur Dayne," she remembered.  "The one they called the Sword of the Morning."

"My father was Ser Arthur's elder brother.  Lady Ashara was my aunt.  I never knew her, though.  She threw herself into the sea from atop the Palestone Sword before I was born."

"'Why would she do that?" said Arya, startled.

Ned looked wary.  Maybe he was afraid that she was going to throw something at him.  "Your lord father never spoke of her?" he said.  "The Lady Ashara Dayne, of Starfall?'

"No.  Did he know her?"

"Before Robert was king.  She met your father and his brothers at Harrenhal, during the year of the false spring." 

"Oh."  Arya did not know what else to say.  "Why did she jump in the sea, though?"

"Her heart was broken."

Sansa would have sighed and shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid.  She couldn't say that to Ned, though, not about his own aunt.  "Did someone break it?"

He hesitated.  "Perhaps it's not my place..."

"Tell me."

He looked at her uncomfortably. "My aunt Allyria says Lady Ashara and your father fell in love at Harrenhal --"

"That's not so. He loved my lady mother."

"I'm sure he did, my lady, but --"

"She was the only  one he loved."

Following that conversation, the former Stark man Harwin rides up to Arya and converses with her, offering a few more thoughts and opinions about the history of her father and Ashara Dayne.

"I'm not afraid," she said.  "That boy Ned said..."

"Aye, he told me.  Lady Ashara Dayne.  It's an old tale, that one.  I heard it once at Winterfell, when I was no older than you are now... I doubt there's any truth to it.  But if there is, what of it?  When Ned met this Dornish lady, his brother Brandon was still alive, and it was him betrothed to Lady Catelyn, so there's no stain on your father's honor.  There's naught like a tourney to make the blood run hot, so maybe some words were whispered in a tent of a night, who can say?  Words or kisses, maybe more, but where's the harm in that?  Spring had come, or so they thought, and neither one of them was pledged."

"She killed herself, though," said Arya uncertainly.  "Ned said she jumped from a tower into the sea."

"So she did," Harwin admitted... "but that was for grief, I'd wager.  She'd lost a brother, the Sword of the Morning."

A Dance with Dragons

From Ser Barristan Selmy, in the chapter called "The Kingbreaker," we read his recollections of Ashara Dayne and the Tourney at Harrenhal.

"If I had been a better knight... if I had unhorsed the prince in that last tilt, as I unhorsed so many others, it would have been for me to choose the queen of love and beauty...

Rhaegar had chosen Lyanna Stark of Winterfell.  Barristan Selmy would have made a different choice.  Not the queen, who was present.  Nor Elia of Dorne, though she was good and gentle; had she been chosen, much war and woe might have been avoided.  His choice would have been a young maiden not long at court, one of Elia's companions... though compared to Ashara Dayne, the Dornish princess was a kitchen drab.

Even after all these years, Ser Barristan could still recall Ashara's smile, the sound of her laughter.  He had only to close his eyes to see her, with her long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders and those haunting purple eyes.  Danaerys has the same eyes. Sometimes when the queen looked at him, he felt as if he were looking at Ashara's daughter.

But Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she has lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well.  She died never knowing that Ser Barristan had loved her.  How could she?  He was a knight of the Kingsguard, sworn to celibacy.  No good could have come from telling her his feelings.  No good came from silence either.  If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark?

He would never know.  But of all his failures, none haunted Barristan Selmy so much as that.

That's what we know explicitly about Ashara.  To summarize:

• Age:  Probably in her teens at Harrenhal Tourney.  Catelyn describes her as young.  According to Selmy, she had only recently arrived at court as a lady-in-waiting for Elia Martell.  Had she lived to appear in the ASOIAF books, she would her be in her 30s or early 40s.
• Appearance:  At time of Harrenhal Tourney, dark hair, shoulder-length or longer.  Purple eyes described as "haunting" (Cat and Barristan), "laughing" (Meera), and like Danaerys' eyes (Barristan).
• Childbearing:  According to Cersei and Barristan, she bore a child.  Child was either "stolen" by Ned Stark or a stillborn daughter, according to Barristan.  Catelyn has heard rumors that she was Jon Snow's mother.
• Death:  according to Edric Dayne and Cersei, she threw herself into the sea.  Edric Dayne and Barristan both claim she threw herself from a tower, which Edric Dayne names the Palestone Sword of Starfall.  Catelyn believes her to be long dead.

Other relevant texts

Because Ashara Dayne is suspected by Catelyn to be Jon Snow's mother, it is relevant to also review those passages pertaining to Jon Snow's mother.  Note that I believe in the R+L=J theory, but the confusion around who Jon's mother is and the fact that Lady Ashara gets mentioned provides some clues about what really happened to Ashara.

 

Ned Stark's Cover Story to Robert Baratheon in AGOT

On the Kingsroad south from Winterfell following his acceptance of Robert's nomination to be Hand of the King, Ned and Robert discuss extramarital relationships.  While Responding to Robert chortling about the two of them running off to find some wenches, Ned replies...

"Would that we could," Ned said, "but we have duties now my liege... to the realm, to our children, I to my lady wife and you to your queen.  We are not the boys we were."

"You were never the boy you were," Robert grumbled.  "More's the pity.  And yet there was that one time... what was her name, that common girl of yours?  Becca?  No, she was one of mine, gods love her, black hair and these sweet big eyes, you could drown in them.  Yours was... Aleena?  You told me once.  Was it Merryl?  You know the one I mean, your bastard's mother?"

"Her name was Wylla," Ned replied with cool courtesy, "and I would sooner not speak of her."

"Wylla.  Yes."  The king grinned.  "She must have been a rare wench to make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor, even for an hour.  You never told me what she looked like..."

Ned's mouth tightened in anger.  "Nor will I.  Leave it be, Robert, for the love you say you bear me.  I dishonored myself and I dishonored Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men."

"Gods have mercy, you scarcely knew Catelyn."

"I had taken her to wife.  She was carrying my child."

 

The Fisherman's Daughter

While in Sisterton, Davos Seaworth talks with Lord Borrell.  Their conversation includes the following.

 ...Lord Godric rubbed his chin.  "Still... in this world, only winter is certain.  Ned Stark told my father that, here in this very hall."

 "Ned Stark was here?"

 "At the dawn of Robert's Rebellion.  The Mad King had sent to the Eyrie for Stark's head, but Jon Arryn sent him back defiance.  Gulltown stayed local to the throne, though.  To get home and call his banners, Stark had to cross the mountains to the Fingers and find a fisherman to carry him across the Bite.  A storm caught them on the way.  The fisherman drowned, but his daughter got Stark to the Sisters before the boat went down.  They say he left her with a bag of silver and a bastard in her belly.  Jon Snow, she named him, after Arryn."

 

Wylla the Wet Nurse

When Arya is speaking with Edric Dayne, he also tells her about a woman named Wylla, with some information that Arya finds very surprising.

"My lady?"  Ned said at last.  "You have a baseborn brother... Jon Snow?" 

"He's with the Night's Watch on the Wall."  Maybe I should go to the Wall instead of Rivrerrun.  Jon wouldn't care who I killed or whether I brushed my hair.  "Jon looks like me, even though he's bastard-born."  He sued to muss my hair and call me 'little sister.' "  Arya missed Jon most of all.  Just saying his name made her sad.  "How do you know about Jon?"

"He is my milk brother."

"Brother?"  Arya did not understand.  "But you're from Dorne.  How could you and Jon be blood?"

"Milk brothers.  Not blood.  My lady mother had no milk when I was little, so Wylla had to nurse me."

Arya was lost.  "Who's Wylla?"

"Jon Snow's mother.  He never told you?  She's served us for years and years. Since before I was born."

"Jon never knew his mother.  Not even her name."  Arya gave Ned a wary look.  "You know her?  Is he making mock of me?  "If you lie I'll punch your face." 

"Wylla was my wetnurse," he repeated solemnly.   "I swear it on the honor of my house."

[...]

Jon has a mother.  Wylla, her name is Wylla.  She would need to remember so she could tell him, the next time she saw him."